A Moustache On The Mona Lisa
Posted January 8, 2008
by jwan,
1 reviews
46 year old woman with a moderate budget, traveling for leisure
A Mustache On The Mona Lisa
The decor of the Blake is artsy and beautiful, the arrival faces are immensely friendly and charming, and the beds are heavenly. Housekeeping and room service are abysmal.
We arrived in the evening and the doorman and concierge were brilliant. Check-in was swift and hassle free and we got a great recommendation for dining. Arriving in the room was slightly gross, however. Just inside the door the marble had a big coffee stain, there were plastic wrappers on the bathroom floor and the bedside tables were sticky with drink rings. It was a beautiful room and it was a downer to find it a bit grubby.
Room service was absurd. I'm still not sure the guy who took the order wasn't making game of me. My order went like this:
ME: Hi, room thus and so. I'd like to order the Artisanal Cheese Plate.
STAFF: Uh. What? What Kind of cheese do you want?
ME: I... I don't... Okay, what kind do you have?
STAFF: *long pause, kitchen noises* We have, uh... we have Something Farms, and that's cow. And we have Something Dairies, and that's goat. And we have Something else farms, and that's more cow. And we have...
ME: Do you have gouda, or brie, or --
STAFF: What? I don't know what you mean. We give you cranberry bread and nuts with it.
ME: Okay, it's cool: how about you give me two cow and one goat. How's that?
STAFF: Okay, thank you. Will there be anything else?
ME: (from menu): Just a bottle of Perrier.
STAFF: I'm sorry, but we can't deliver alcoholic beverages to the rooms.
ME: It's not alcohol, it's water. Sparkling water.
STAFF: Sparkling water?
ME: Water with bubbles in it.
STAFF: Just a moment.
After another long hold, STAFF returned and informed me that they didn't offer Perrier, but they had another type of water with bubbles in it, and so we ended. Except for the fact that the guy who delivered after an epic wait made a big deal of telling me where to add the tip, and when I advised him that the gratuity was included, felt he had to argue for it. And when he left we discovered that he'd declined to give us cutlery, so we ate with our fingers. It was good for a laugh, but not really stellar service.
I should say the disputed plate of Cow and Goat was fabulous. Delicious. But between the extortionate service charge, 18% gratuity and the extra tip I added just to get the importunate dude out of our hair, it was a mugging.
The next day we left early for touristy stuff and placed the tag for housekeeping. When we returned late that night the room hadn't been touched. It was a little bizarre.
I really feel I should mention the good things again: the evening doorman is a star, the concierge is a delight, and the place is simply ravishing, design wise. The wifi was excellent, the beds paradisaical. It's baffling that management would allow such a great travel experience to be marred by untrained wait staff and malingering housekeepers.
I do recommend the Blake, with cautions (don't order rooms service! Make waves at the desk about housekeeping!) simply because it's pretty, well-located, and quite gracious. I suppose it's one of those eccentric places where the informed guest can take the rough with the smooth. But it's a pity, because it could be so much more.
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