After sitting in traffic for nearly an hour in a smelly cab, we arrived at the hotel, which from the outside looked as though it had seen better days. We walked into the lobby and found ourselves in the middle of way too many people for the space. The railings on the stairs were broken, and the floor tiles were all cracked... The desk staff acted as though we were really bothering them by requesting to check-in. I reserved a room overlooking the port, I was told I had that none were available. I protested, and they reluctantly reduced my rate. I finally got my keys, and headed for the elevators, two of which were out of service. Arriving at our floor, we were greeted by a terrible smell, a mixture of bathroom deodorizer, and mildew... in other words, a locker room. Our room was not much better, the bed had stains all over the comforter, the window didn't quite close, so the sounds of the street festival below (which lasted till nearly 2am) poured into the room. The carpet was tattered and stained, the bathroom was old, and dingy, and about the size of a small walk-in closet. It was as if they seriously worked hard on figuring out the absolute minimum of space required to call it a bathroom. The showerhead sprayed in every direction but that which it was designed, and the tub was stained. The magazines were sticky? and the coffee packets in the room were about 8 months out of date. The ceiling was stained, and pieces of it were flaking off. The furniture in the room looked like it had endured several decades of service.
Once we settled, we met others from the group at the hotel bar for a drink. I ordered a gin & tonic, and it was served to me with a dead fly in it. I told the bartender about the extra protein in my drink and he questioned me as though I had placed the dead fly in my own drink. He then asked me if I would like another, I said no, absolutely not. We left and went to Hard Rock Cafe for proper drinks and dinner. The next morning on our way down to breakfast, the elevator broke between floors, and we sat there with roughly 10 other people for a miserable 30 minutes. Once we made it out, we had breakfast in the restaurant (which cost $45 for two). Breakfast consisted of a buffet with hot items on one side and cold on the other. All of it appeared and tasted like that which most hotels offer as a free breakfast. The waitress appeared to be serving about 20 tables, so even the smallest request took quite some time.
We checked out and complained about all that we had encountered to the desk clerk, who promptly responded with a simple, "sorry 'bout that, have a nice day" I travel for business usually every week, and have stayed at hundreds of hotels over the past several years, and I have never had such bad experience with a hotel as I did here in Miami. Next time I cruise, I will either chance flying in the day of departure, or stay somewhere a little further from the port. Bottom line is the ONLY good thing this hotel has going for it is its location, everything else about it stinks, literally (in some cases).