FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS.
Great Wolf Lodge in Traverse City cost us FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS and we only stayed one night. Three hundred and fifty of it was just the room for one night. The rest was FOOD.
Our family spent approximately five hundred dollars for the most stressful twenty-four hours of our lives. The staff, which we'd heard great things about from this post and others (admittedly - SOME TIME AGO), was just shy of dismissive.
Check-in and Check-out were reminiscent of the crowd scenes in a TOHO Production. The only thing missing was someone pointing to the sky and screaming "Godzilla!"
Trying to get a cart to bring luggage either in or out requires either supreme skills of negotiation or a mastery of the martial arts. Don't even make the effort.
The food in the restaurant was wonderful. The forty five minute wait for it to arrive, was not. The wait staff is either very busy or badly trained. Customers who pay that kind of money for food and lodging expect the food to be perfect, the service to be excellent and the beds to be comfortable. The rooms were beautiful, but the beds were slightly softer than concrete slabs, which might have been bearable were it not for the Chiclet trying to pass itself off for a pillow.
The Spa required two days notice to schedule a massage. Somewhat useless to the overnight guest. Just note that in case you are planning to go despite my warnings.
The water park, although ingenious and enjoyable is a disaster in terms of traffic flow. Getting in and out of your swimsuit is something best done in your room or before you arrive. When we arrived, the staff announced they had run out of towels. We went the last week of February, far from peak season, and the water park ran out of towels. Out of towels at the water park. I can't go on.
They have a chef that makes omelettes. This would be a bonus were he not a surly curmudgeon with a lack of appreciation for the finer details of hygiene(word of advice, when cooking, do not pick up a dirty towel, wipe your brow with it, and return to the customers food - it is detrimental to their appetites)
The good news is you can save a great deal of time by not asking the staff for help. You will not receive help anyway and will be treated as an interruption in their day as opposed to the very reason for their employment. But think of the time savings not waiting for them to condescend to you!
Many employees have name tags that claim Employee of the Month for a certain time period. I did not see one that was dated in the last two years. Apparently things have gone WAY DOWNHILL somewhere between December of 2006 and March of 2007. No idea what it might be, but somewhere in that time, what could have been the premiere family destination in all of Michigan has become little more than a McDonald's playplace attached to the Motel Six.
Oh, and the kicker. The staff inadvertently took my son's lifejacket with their towels (we brought our own, so there was no reason for the error), and now they are sending it back to me COD. They took the lifejacket -- I pay to get it back.
I cannot say enough to warn others. Don't be fooled by the brochures. YES it LOOKS like that and it COSTS that much. But your dollar-to-enjoyment ratio is much less than you can imagine.
We wrote them a letter...We're not expecting to hear back.
Consider Yourself Warned.
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